Abstract: Monogamy is a near universal expectation in intimate relationships in Western societies and is typically defined as sexual and romantic exclusivity to one partner. This research informs the paradox between monogamy intentions and high rates of infidelity. Monogamy maintenance (MM) strategies used in response to relationship threats posed by attraction to extradyadic others were identified and characterized. Across three samples, 741 U.S. adults in intimate relationships completed surveys addressing MM. Twenty‐four strategies emerged in three factors—Proactive Avoidance (of attractive alternatives), Relationship Enhancement, and Low Self‐Monitoring and Derogation (in the face of extradyadic attraction). All MM factors were commonly endorsed, yet were largely unsuccessful at forestalling infidelity.
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The derogation of attractive alternatives was included in the preliminary MMI [MM inventory] both in the form of outward behaviors that may be perceived as rude or socially disengaging (e.g., “Intentionally ignored the looks from this other person when they were looking at me”; “Treated this other person rudely”), and in the form of self-directed talk (e.g., “Told myself that this other person was bad for me”; “Looked for unflattering things in this other person”). These strategies were intentional extensions of previously identified automatic responses to attractive others in experimental contexts—namely, inattention and hostility (Maner et al., 2009; Plant et al., 2010). The outward strategies directed toward the attractive other were infrequently endorsed, indicating that although individuals may engage in stronger forms of derogation with fleeting relationship threats, they typically derogate attractive others in the form of selfdirected talk within the social contexts of their lives.
Check also Attentional and evaluative biases help people maintain relationships by avoiding infidelity. McNulty, James K., Meltzer, Andrea L., Makhanova, Anastasia, Maner, Jon K. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Feb 12 , 2018, https://www.bipartisanalliance.com/2018/02/attentional-and-evaluative-biases-help.html
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