From 2012... This study contributes to the scholarship of women’s sexuality by utilizing a hermeneutic phenomenological lens, with feminist, Tantric nondual underpinnings

From 2012... Transcending the 'grotesque' illumination of female sexuality. L. Marie Damgaard. Masters Thesis, Education School, Lethbridge Univ, 2012. https://hdl.handle.net/10133/5567

Abstract: This study contributes to the scholarship of women’s sexuality by utilizing a hermeneutic phenomenological lens, with feminist, Tantric nondual underpinnings to explore a group of co-researcher women's understanding of their self-defined ‘grotesque’ sexual experiences. Furthermore, the analysis of their interviews sought to discover the meanings and resulting transformations that these women have undertaken in their experience of sexuality, self, and beyond, which they ascribe to these ‘grotesque’ sexual experiences.  Analysis and interpretation of the transcripts resulted in the emergence of several subthemes.  The subthemes fell into three main themes, including, Theme A: Patriarchy as a Sculptor of the ‘Grotesque’, Theme B: Denying Authentic Self, and Theme C: Becoming Transformed Through Transgression. Ultimately, the findings of this research study are significant in that they give value to women’s experience, while simultaneously exploring the meaning and understanding that these co-researchers acquired from reflecting on these experiences.

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Daniluk (1998) sums up many of the binary traps that women in her study mentioned they  are forced to navigate below:

"Being based upon or interpreted through patriarchal lenses, the common elements related to women’s sexuality in the religious teachings mentioned above include: a dualistic separation between mind and body, spirit and sexuality; an emphasis on intercourse and procreation in circumscribing the definition and purpose of sex; valuing and treasuring of virginity; insistence on sexual exclusivity between married partners; sanctions against sex outside of marriage; and admonishment of masturbation, sexual fantasies, and homosexuality." (p. 3)

The accumulation of the totality of these expectations has some devastating consequences through adolescence and into adulthood regarding sexual exploration. Religion creates a structure in society, through appropriation and recreation of patriarchal ideas in practice and teachings (Daniluk & Browne, 2008). These findings are consistent with Ogden’s research discussing how all women must work through impacts of religion on their sexuality (2008, 2013, 2018). Daniluk (1998) work also supports the notion that women must consistently grapple with religious pressures on their sexuality, whether they are part of a religious community or not. Therefore, religion’s impact on women creates a context which contributes to the Egoic structure in individuals (Almaas, 2000), especially women, as their value is often determined by others and they spend time trying to stay on the ‘right’ or ‘proper’ side of the binary trap. It is important to note the emotional toll women experience when attempting to be perfect and maintain all these external standards; the debilitating deep shame felt when they realize the impossibility of perfectionism (Brown, 2010), and personal and/or societal judgement if their preferences do not match religious outlooks. These binaries continue to intertwine with gender expectations and therefore impact women’s sense of identity and self.