Sunday, March 7, 2021

From 2020... Breakup Likelihood Following Hypothetical Sexual or Emotional Infidelity: Perceived Threat, Blame, and Forgiveness

From 2020... Breakup Likelihood Following Hypothetical Sexual or Emotional Infidelity: Perceived Threat, Blame, and Forgiveness. Trond Viggo Grøntvedt, Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair and Mons Bendixen. Journal of Relationships Research, Volume 11, Jun 8 2020. https://doi.org/10.1017/jrr.2020.5

Abstract: Infidelity represents a major threat to relationships, often resulting in dissolution of couples. The process from infidelity to potential breakup was studied in 92 couples using questionnaires concerning hypothetical scenarios of sexual and emotional infidelity. Structural equation model analyses using couple data for both infidelity types suggest that the level of perceived threat to the relationship was the main predictor of likelihood of breakup for men and women. Following each type of imagined infidelity, this effect was partly mediated by forgiveness. For emotional infidelity, level of blame was associated with forgiveness and breakup. The effect of blame on breakup was fully mediated by keeping less distance. The mechanisms involved in these processes were highly similar for women and men.

Popular version Mar 5 2021: https://www.studyfinds.org/men-women-view-infidelity-differently/

Discussion

Previous research on transgressions in relationships and forgiveness has either not used couple data nor addressed the most serious kinds of transgression, such as infidelity. The forgiveness literature has also only to a very slight degree been coupled to the extant jealousy literature. By combining couple data with hypothetical emotional and sexual infidelity scenarios, the current study shed light on the psychological processes affecting breakup likelihood. Further, by measuring relationship quality before introducing the vignettes, the measure is not biased by recall of conflict, as could be a potential problem when asking about past transgressions.

Based on the standardised path coefficients, the model for imagined sexual infidelity was highly similar for men and women. For both sexes, the likelihood of breakup was directly related to perceived level of threat to the relationship and to lack of internal forgiveness (keeping distance and wanting revenge). The strong effect of perceived threat on breakup was only partly accounted for by keeping distance. Blame was unrelated to dimensions of forgiveness and breakup, and a model omitting blame provided much better fit to the data. Despite sex differences in level of threat, forgiveness, and likelihood of breakup for imagined emotional infidelity, the path coefficients were highly similar for men and women. Perceived threat was the major predictor for breakup and the effect of perceived threat on breakup was partly accounted for by keeping distance. The two infidelity models differed somewhat, though. Only when imagining emotional infidelity was blame moderately associated with both dimensions of forgiveness for men and women, but the effect of blame on breakup was fully accounted for by keeping distance. Relationship quality showed no association with blame, forgiveness or breakup for imagined sexual or emotional infidelity for either sex. Unlike Friesen et al. (2005), we analysed the two dimensions of forgiveness separately, as originally suggested by McCullough et al. (1998). The keeping distance and the wanting revenge dimensions of forgiveness were moderately associated, but only the former had any impact on breakup. It might be that wanting revenge reflects a continued emotional tie to the partner, while keeping distance and breaking up are steps along the same dimension of disengaging emotionally from one's partner. Further, in the description of the two vignettes, there was a conceptual difference beyond having had sex and falling in love. There was only one sexual encounter in the sexual infidelity vignette; whereas the emotional infidelity described a scenario of repeated meetings with someone outside of the relationship. Although the level of blame was not higher in the emotional vignette, a repeated, sustained behaviour may be ascribed a different form of volition and deceit than a single, episodic transgression. In the process of making sense of the repeated meetings affair, the attributions for the partner's infidelity may more directly have affected the following forgiveness process. This might explain why attribution of blame was associated with keeping distance only in the emotional vignette. This blame-forgiveness association is in line with number of prior studies that have reported that blame (nonbenign attributions) reduces the likelihood of forgiveness (see Hall & Fincham, 2006, for a review).

In accordance with previous studies, the effect of blame on breakup was fully accounted for by the effect of keeping distance for both sexes. The effect of blame was restricted to the emotional vignette. However, we disagree with Friesen et al. (2005, p. 74) that the associations among the blame, likelihood of forgiveness, and breakup scales possibly reflect general attitudes toward the relationship. It seems that relationship quality is highly disconnected to the above psychological processes. Further, we believe that differences in study designs between the two studies may help address the differences between our findings and Friesen and colleagues. First, the retrospective nature of Friesen et al.'s study suggests that there might be a greater link between relationship quality and transgression processing; further, they triggered memories of the transgression prior to measuring relationship quality. Since we asked about relationship quality before any other questions in the current study, relationship quality was not influenced by the hypothetical transgressions to the same extent as in Friesen et al. This may explain the disconnect between relationship quality, blame, and forgiveness in this study compared to Friesen et al. Second, our participants considered hypothetical, severe, and probable deal-breaking transgressions, while Friesen et al. considered historical transgressions that had not resulted in couples breaking up. Infidelity is found to be a potent deal-breaker for many relationships (Amato & Previti, 2003; Betzig, 1989); however, all couples in Friesen et al.'s study were intact, possibly because the transgressions were milder in general.

We further found that perceived threat was the major predictor also regardless of type of infidelity. The direct effect of perceived threat on breakup was particularly strong for men in the sexual infidelity vignette. Although the direct path was not significantly different for the two sexes, mediation analyses suggest that a smaller proportion of the total effect of threat was accounted for by forgiveness for men than for women. For men, little else matters when considering breakup than their perception of threat in imagining their partner having sex with another person. This dovetails neatly with the literature on sex differences in jealousy responses; men are more preoccupied with the sexual aspect of the infidelity than women (Bendixen et al., 2015; Buss, 2013). Our findings suggest that other mental processes weigh less for men when facing sexual infidelity.

A clinical application in couple therapy may consider how the perceived threat increases breakup, and address how threat is perceived and whether the threat is experienced by both parties. Further, addressing forgiveness and reducing related behaviours such as specifically keeping distance might be the most efficient intervention. Clinicians might want to focus less on the attributional process (blaming) or even prior relationship quality, based on the current findings.

Limitations and Future Directions

The cross-sectional nature of this study limits the conclusions one may draw regarding causation. Further, future research needs to reconsider when and how relationship quality influences attributions, forgiveness and breakup following various transgressions. The current findings challenge some of the prior findings that found support for effects of relationship quality, which maybe were largely a result of the use of vignettes describing hypothetical scenarios. The hypothetical nature of our study design introduces a disconnect between actual dyadic relationship variables, thus the transgression, perception of threat and decision to break up are all hypothetical. Considering future transgressions might elicit mate-guarding tactics that inflate likelihood of preemptive threat (Bendixen et al., 2018). On the other hand, it is difficult to study these processes as research of actual breakup is often retrospective by design. Intact couples might have forgiven successfully, at least to such a degree that the dyad is not dissolved, which may have had a positive effect on relationship quality. Further insights into the predictive effect of relationship quality on the likelihood of breakup following serious transgression such as infidelity in real life would probably need a prospective design.

Our sample consisted mainly of relatively young couples from a highly egalitarian, secular and sexually liberal country (Grøntvedt & Kennair, 2013). It is therefore possible that there is less stigma and hindrance to breakup in our sample compared to more religious, conservative couple samples. Regardless, we expect many of the mechanisms identified in the current study to generalise across cultures and nations, as cross-cultural investigations find infidelity to be one of the leading causes of relationship dissolution (Betzig, 1989).

Regarding methodological issues, the relatively low reliability of the revenge scales and unknown reliability of the single-item measures of threat suggest caution regarding interpreting some of the effects reported. Still, the strength of the associations with other variables in the model underscore the validity of these measures. Finally, as with many questionnaire-based surveys on sensitive topics, social desirability responding might be an issue (e.g., Tourangeau & Yan, 2007). However, this presupposes that there are clear social norms regarding how one is supposed to react to infidelity in one's partner. There is no indication that such norms exist, and it would be hard to evaluate in what direction social desirability concerns would affect the responses, and hence the results.

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