Agreeableness contributes to higher commitment to the spouse, but appears to make people more reluctant to express their sexual needs and desires

Big Five personality traits and sex. Uwe Jirjahn & Martha Ottenbacher. Journal of Population Economics, Mar 14 2022. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00148-022-00893-2

Abstract: Sexual well-being plays an important role in the quality of life. Against this background, we provide an economics-based approach to the relationship between the Big Five personality traits and various dimensions of sexuality. From a theoretical viewpoint, personality influences sexual well-being not only by how a person feels about sex, but also by how the person behaves in a sexual relationship. Personality shapes information sharing about sexual preferences, the way dissonant sexual preferences of the partners are handled, and the extent to which a person is committed to promises made to a partner. Using a large representative dataset from Germany, we find that personality traits play a role in a person’s own sexual satisfaction, in (the self-assessment of) fulfilling their partner’s sexual needs and desires, in sexual communication, in actual and desired frequency of sex, and in extradyadic affairs. Conscientiousness contributes to a mutually beneficial sex life and increases a person’s commitment to their partner. The opposite holds true for neuroticism. While extraversion and openness to experience help realize a mutually beneficial sex life, we find no evidence that they have a commitment value. On the contrary, extraversion is associated with lower commitment to the partner. Agreeableness contributes to higher commitment. However, agreeableness appears to make people more reluctant to express their sexual needs and desires.

Discussion of results

Our results show that the Big Five personality traits play an important role in the sex life of people. The Big Five personality traits not only play a role in a person’s sexual satisfaction. They also play a role in how the person behaves in a sexual relationship. This conforms to our theoretical considerations suggesting that personality traits influence sexual communication and information sharing, the way dissonant sexual preferences of the partners are handled, and the extent to which the person is committed to promises made to the partner.

Neuroticism is associated with lower sexual satisfaction. On the one hand, a higher degree of emotional instability may entail that a person derives less utility from sex as he or she fears sex or is disgusted about some aspects of sexuality. On the other hand, our results suggest that a higher degree of emotional instability negatively affects sexual satisfaction through the person’s behavior in the sexual relationship. Neuroticism is negatively associated with (the self-assessment of) being a good sex partner and fulfilling the partner’s sexual needs and desires. This indicates that a person’s emotional instability also negatively affects the partner’s sexual satisfaction and makes a mutually beneficial sex life less likely. Our findings on sexual communication corroborate this view. Neuroticism is negatively associated with expressing preferences during sex and the ability of expressing sexual needs and desires in general. This conforms to the notion that emotional instability entails inadequate and hostile sexual communication and information sharing. Furthermore, neuroticism is associated with a lower frequency of sex and a lower likelihood of being satisfied with the actual frequency of sex. Interestingly, a higher degree of neuroticism increases both the likelihood of desiring less frequent and the likelihood of desiring more frequent sex. This indicates that a neurotic person has rather volatile sexual preferences and is driven by impulsivity. Hence, it is more difficult for the person and the partner to coordinate their preferences and to handle dissonant preferences. Finally, our estimations show that neuroticism is associated with an increased likelihood of having extradyadic affairs. This conforms to the notion that lower self-control and a higher discounting of the future entail more severe commitment problems.

Conscientiousness is associated with higher sexual satisfaction. Moreover, it is also positively associated with being a good sex partner and fulfilling the partner’s sexual needs and desires. Thus, our findings fit the notion that a higher degree of conscientiousness helps realize a win–win situation within the sexual relationship. As suggested by our theoretical considerations, conscientiousness may contribute to a more balanced style of sexual communication, a more fair-minded and cooperative handling of dissonant sexual preferences, and a higher commitment to promises made to the partner. Indeed, our empirical results confirm a positive role of conscientiousness in sexual communication. Conscientiousness is positively associated with expressing preferences during sex and expressing sexual needs and desires in general. Moreover, our results provide evidence that conscientiousness has a commitment value in a sexual relationship. Conscientiousness is associated with a lower likelihood of having extradyadic affairs.

Agreeableness is also associated with higher sexual satisfaction. However, our estimations provide no evidence that improved sexual communication is a transmission channel. Quite the contrary, we find evidence of a negative role of agreeableness in sexual communication. Agreeableness is negatively associated with expressing preferences during sex and expressing sexual needs and desires in general. As suggested by our theoretical considerations, there can be two opposing influences. On the one hand, agreeableness may contribute to a more harmonious and empathic style of communication. On the other hand, a stronger desire for harmony and a higher degree of altruism may imply that an agreeable person to some extent sacrifices his or her personal needs. Our empirical results on sexual communication suggest that the latter influence dominates. The interesting point is that an agreeable person nonetheless experiences higher sexual satisfaction. This may be explained by a higher degree of humility implying that an agreeable person gains sexual satisfaction even if he or she sacrifices some of his or her needs. Furthermore, our estimations show that agreeableness is associated with a lower likelihood of having extradyadic affairs. This suggests that agreeableness has a commitment value.

Extraversion is associated with both higher sexual satisfaction and higher frequency of sex. Moreover, it is a positive determinant of being a good sex partner and fulfilling the partner’s sexual needs and desires. Thus, extraversion appears to contribute to a mutually beneficial sex life of the person and the partner. Our results suggest that improved sexual communication is one transmission channel. Extraversion is positively associated with expressing preferences during sex and the ability of expressing sexual needs and desires in general. However, extraversion is also associated with a higher likelihood of having extradyadic affairs. Thus, while a person’s extraversion contributes to a mutually beneficial sex life of the couple, at the same time, it appears to entail more severe commitment problems. The positive link between extraversion and extradyadic affairs also indicates that a more extroverted person has better outside options increasing his or her bargaining power within the sexual relationship. A stronger bargaining power enables a more extroverted person to get through his or her preferred sexual practices. Altogether, our results conform to the notion that a person’s extraversion increases both the joint surplus generated by a couple’s sexual relationship and the person’s share in this surplus.

We also find evidence that openness to experience is positively associated with sexual satisfaction and frequency of intercourse. Furthermore, our estimations provide evidence that openness to experience is a positive determinant of being a good sex partner and fulfilling the partner’s sexual needs and desires. This suggests that an open person is more able to take into account the partner’s sexual preferences. Our results also show that openness to experience contributes to improved sexual communication. It is positively associated with expressing preferences during sex and the ability of expressing sexual needs and desires in general. This indicates that a person who is more open to the partner’s sexual preferences has better opportunities to communicate his or her preferences to the partner. In contrast to extraversion, we find no evidence that openness to experience is associated with extradyadic affairs. Thus, our analysis provides no evidence that openness to experience has an influence on commitment problems or the person’s outside options.