Although men who expressed a desire to have children were generally considered more desirable than those who did not, if a man did not want children, he could still be considered desirable if his previous partner spoke highly of him

Call Me Daddy: How Long-term Desirability Is Influenced by Intention for Fatherhood. Ryan C. Anderson & Michele K. Surbey. Evolutionary Psychological Science, May 16 2022. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40806-022-00324-1

Abstract: One of the most important decisions an individual can make involves investing in a mating relationship. For women, the process of mate selection can be time-intensive and fraught with costs and dangers. However, these risks can be minimised by attending to relevant social information and modelling the mate choices of others. The propensity of imitating another’s mate choices is referred to as mate copying. Most research has focused on this behaviour in non-humans, but evidence of its existence in humans is emerging. The current study sought to determine conditions that modify a man’s desirability. The present study examined 267 women’s evaluations of men depicted in silhouetted images who varied in terms of their intentions for fatherhood and relationship history. Results showed that a man’s desirability as a long term mate was enhanced if he wished to become a father, and/or if he had a previous relationship experience, indicating he had been formerly chosen or preferred. These findings add to the existing body of knowledge on mate copying and attention to social information by demonstrating how women incorporate social learning and innate evolutionary predispositions to facilitate decision-making and behaviour relating to mate selection.

Discussion

Employing silhouetted representations of men, women participating in the current study gave mate-relevant evaluations of target men in varying relationship experience conditions and who either did or did not intend to be fathers. The hypothesis that men with intentions of fatherhood (would like to be a father one day) would be considered by women to be more romantically desirable than men indicating the opposite (does not have children at the moment and does not wish to have any) was supported. By demonstrating that men without relationship experience were evaluated as less desirable than men with relationship experience, the results supported the idea that women copy the mate preferences of other women under certain conditions. Positive mate-relevant information provided by a former partner positively contributed to a man’s romantic desirability and fatherly intention (‘his most recent ex-partner speaks highly of him as a romantic partner’) was found to be highly desirable to women. An interaction between the variables of fatherly intention and relationship experience suggested that having a positive former partner seemed to compensate for a man’s expressed lack of intention to become a father. Although men who expressed a desire to have children were generally considered more desirable than those who did not, if a man did not want children, he could still be considered desirable if his previous partner spoke highly of him.

Mate Copying

A propensity to mate copy was demonstrated in the current study by virtue of the fact that the participants rated currently single men who had formerly been in romantic relationships as being more desirable as a long-term partner than men who had not been in a romantic relationship. These results are consistent with previous research indicating that men are more ‘desirable’ (variously operationalised) if they have previously been chosen as a partner, than if they have not. Whereas many studies within the mate copying literature have employed various dependent measures as proxies of a man’s mate value and yielded inconsistent results (see Anderson & Surbey, 2020 for a discussion), the current study used an explicitly stated measure of long-term desirability. While actual mate copying was not measured in this study, a propensity to copy the preferences of other women was indicated by women finding men with former partners to be more desirable than men without former partners. Such a propensity would presumably motivate or underlie actual instances of mate copying.

Departing from other methodological procedures employing photographs or morphed photographs of real men (Chu, 2012; Eva & Wood, 2006; Little et al., 2008, 2011; Vakirtzis & Roberts, 2010; Waynforth, 2007; Yorzinski & Platt, 2010), the current study used small generic silhouettes of men in an attempt to decrease the perceived importance of visual information and thereby increase the relative importance of the text manipulations. Some of the target men were explicitly described as currently single, but having been in either one or no former relationships in the last 4 years. This procedure is similar to that employed by Anderson and Surbey (2014), who also used silhouette representations and found formerly partnered men to be more desirable than those without former partners.

Consistent with previous research (Scammell & Anderson, 2020), positive mate-relevant evaluations offered by former partners positively contributed to a man’s desirability. The positive opinion of a previous partner enhanced a target man’s perceived desirability as a long-term partner above that of other men (formerly partnered or not). In other words, a positive evaluation from a former partner enhances the mate copying effect. The fact that having a former partner speak positively of him increases a man’s desirability as a long-term partner is consistent with the idea that the perceived value of something can be meaningfully enhanced by a positive endorsement (Erdogan, 1999), especially when it is coming from an authoritative or reputable source (in this case a former partner). An unexpected interaction suggested that a positive assessment by a former partner may compensate for an undesirable anti-fatherhood intention (‘does not wish to have children’), but this possibility requires further exploration and consideration of alternative interpretations.

For example, while it may be reasonable to expect that being ‘endorsed’ by an authority source (former partner) would theoretically make someone seem more appealing (desirable), the enhancement in appeal they receive may be counteracted by female intrasexual aggression. It may be that a former partner who speaks highly of a man is doing so because she is not entirely detached from him. The intrasexual competition that she poses to prospective female suitors may be enough to deter them from pursuing a relationship with the man, or at least make them suspicious of how close the two remain. If their relationship is unresolved, there is a chance that he will go back to her. This may be problematic if he has followed through with his intention to have children with his newest partner but subsequently abandons her and the child to reunite with his former partner.

The availability and accessibility of potential mates have been shown to affect intrasexual competition and aggression among a number of non-human taxa (see Rosvall, 2011). It was found that heterosexual undergraduate students were both more jealous and willing to aggress when they were led to believe that potential mates were scarce (inaccessible) than if they thought potential mates were abundant (Arnocky et al., 2014). In the current study participant ‘aggression’ toward an anonymous former partner of a target man (potential mate) manifested as disinterest toward dating him. Such an explanation may also be consistent with a cognitive dissonance appraisal (Festinger, 1962), whereby a difficult-to-obtain article is disfavoured (‘I did not want it anyway’).

The present results suggest that having intentions for fatherhood increases one’s desirability as a long-term partner and are generally consistent with the findings of a review examining gender differences in mate preferences (Feingold, 1992). Predictions were derived from Trivers’ (1972) parental investment model, which suggests that women (as the sex with higher obligate investment in offspring) more than men seek mates who possess non-physical characteristics that maximise the survival and reproductive prospects of their offspring. A recurrent finding in the literature is that men indicating fatherly intention or competence, or the ability to provision offspring with resources, are considered desirable as romantic partners. The general idea is that men with a favourable attitude toward children will be more likely to contribute to their well-being by providing them with survival-promoting resources.

The current results suggest that having a former partner speak highly of a man makes him somewhat more desirable as a long-term partner and that men expressing a willingness to have children are considered far more desirable than men not wanting children. Curiously, these two characteristics in concert were considered undesirable. Men with positive former partners were more desirable as a long-term partner if they did not want children than if they did. It may be that men with too many positive characteristics (has a positive ex, wants children) seem unrealistic and are thus evaluated poorly. It has been shown that claims or offers seeming ‘too good to be true’ can elicit suspicion and lead to rejection (Steinel et al., 2014). This seemingly paradoxical finding is inconsistent with other findings reported here and awaits further enquiry.

Mate Poaching

Mate poaching was defined as the difference in desirability between men with a current partner and those without one currently, but with a former partner. Based on previous inconsistencies in the literature (Eva & Wood, 2006; Uller & Johansson, 2003), it was unclear whether the current study would detect mate poaching. However, the results suggested that men currently in a relationship were considered more desirable as long-term partners than single men, regardless of whether their most recent romantic partner gave positive mate-relevant information about them. While these results are consistent with the phenomenon of mate copying, we maintain that the processes of mate copying and mate poaching are systematically different. While mate poaching typically involves the additional elements of pursuing or stealing someone already in a relationship, these elements are not pre-requisites of mate copying (Anderson & Surbey, 2020). While indicating that an attached other is desirable as a long-term partner may be morally problematic and may possibly invoke some degree of cognitive dissonance (I want it, but I cannot have it), it is different to indicating that someone is willing to couple with a currently attached man, or otherwise steal him from his current partner. The latter carries with it an implicit suggestion that a person is willing to violate an unwritten social law—namely, that individuals in relationships are (generally) not open to pursuit by individuals outside of the relationship.

Methodological Considerations

The sample in the current study largely comprised university students and was therefore non-random. Presumably, many individuals attend university because they wish to enhance their qualifications and further their career (Battle & Wigfield, 2003). Although there is evidence suggesting that career-oriented individuals (especially younger ones) are less concerned with parenthood (Bass, 2014) and may therefore value parental intentions less in a partner, the employment of a non-random university sample did not appear to significantly impair finding the predicted effects.

There is evidence that mate copying is more common among younger and less experienced women than among their older counterparts (Anderson & Surbey, 2014; Bowers et al., 2011; Waynforth, 2007). Although the sample age range (18–40) was ideal for studying mate selection in general (for example, post-reproductive women may employ entirely different mate selection criteria), the mean age of the present sample was low (21.73 years) and the distribution had a strong skew. Instead of being problematic, however, employing this sample may have enhanced the ability to detect mate copying as well as the strength of its effect.

Finally, it is worth considering that previous research has suggested that physically strong men are more attractive. Muscularity can be an indicator of genetic quality and a capacity to protect offspring (Sell et al., 2017). Therefore, limited visibility of target men, presented in cropped close-up photographs, may make it difficult for women to visually assess a potential mate’s body—their strength, leanness and height (Lu & Chang, 2012; Sell et al., 2017). It is certainly possible that stimuli presented in the current study influenced perceptions of paternal ability. Future studies may wish to consider presenting ‘more comprehensive’ stimuli in an effort to account for this variable.